Dame Ginny's Thoughts
I have been asked by my many fan (no, I didn't make a mistake, I just want to stay humble) to post more on the saga of Dame Ginny, so here goes:
You might ask yourself, upon seeing the photo of me squinting into the sun with the text "Pew Pew Pew" above my head, what's going on. Pew, pew, pew does not mean I have neglected my personal hygiene. It is the sound my awesome steampunk weapon makes as I fight off the hoards of evil doers that sometimes cross my path. I am squinting into the sun looking for my arch nemesis Duke Marmaduke Ellesmere. (I know he's my arch nemesis because every time he's around my instep starts aching... Ba da bum) I don't know why he's fixated on me as I am a perfectly average 68 year old, purple haired, steampunk lady but, fixated he is. He thinks he's "all that and a bowl of haggis" just because his family owns some moldy old manuscript about people in tights wandering around the country side of England looking for Canterbury. At any rate I am on guard and watching our estate in case his black zeppelin shows up. All you need to know is: He's after me and has MINIONS!
I live on my estate in Meridian, Idaho with my beloved Lord Michael vonCollings and he's even MORE awesome than my steampunk weapon! He looks great in or out of armor and he's MINE, all MINE!
In the past we have traveled the world over (okay, in the desire to give full disclosure, about 8 states) spreading Lord Michael's wisdom and teaching those who desire to learn about almost anything under the sun. Except plumbing, we don't do know anything about plumbing.
Down the road from our estate is the castle of the famous author Michaelbrent Collings who is our son. This is a good thing since Lord Michael can share his wisdom easily with Michaelbrent and Michaelbrent can come over to our estate to help with the aforementioned plumbing. (Michaelbrent can figure out anything, INCLUDING plumbing because he knows how to use Google.) Michaelbrent is married to the beautiful sylph Laura who is the mother 4 of our delightful and intelligent grandchildren. Laura is gorgeous but has infected our son with "sylphilis". For more explanation about that please purchase MB's book The Longest Con from Amazon.com. If you've already purchased it, go ahead, live a little, get another copy and give it to a friend.
Our next child, Lady Erika duBarrus lives in a far off realm with her knight Sir John who keeps her in an ivory tower but lets her out whenever she wants to go somewhere. They live near a fabled sea and love to go out in their ship to harvest from the bounty of the water. It might be why 2 of their children seem to be either part merpeople or selkies. Their oldest girl is gifted with a siren's song and they are the other delightful and talented grandchildren in my family.
Our third child Sir Ethan Hunt is the hereditary lemming herder of our family. His way with lemmings is legendary and he takes his responsibilities of the keeper of the lemmings very seriously. He once rescued a depressed lemming named Atrox from the plains of Kansas. Atrox kept trying to find a cliff to jump off of but, as everyone knows, Kansas is FLAT. The best Atrox could do was throw himself off a bench at the bus stop but that wasn't nearly high enough to do any damage. Sir Ethan found Atrox and took him to Dover. Atrox is no longer depressed.
Our fourth child is Lady Kendra de SantaCruz. She is married to a handsome Spanish caballero who came and stole her heart away with his handsome manly good looks after falling under her spell. Their castle is but a days ride (if you're in a radio flyer red wagon) from our estate and I frequently visit them and Lady Kendra and I go to tournaments featuring the BSU Broncos where we yell ourselves hoarse.
There will be more on each of these fascinating characters in the coming entries of my blog. In the meantime, try to withhold your excitement while I go and check on what that mysterious oval shaped shadow is that is hovering over my home.