Is Justin Bieber Really a Potato Bug?
THoly FRICK, what IS that thing?

There are some things in life that make me sad. Like potato bugs. I know, I know. Some of you are like, "What? Potato bugs? Why not get sad about other things, like world hunger, or global warming, or Justin Bieber?"

Well, I've already figured out the answers to world hunger and global warming. So they just don't bother me anymore.

As for Justin Bieber, I've come to the conclusion that he is actually a messenger from Care-A-Lot, a Care Bear who took on human form in order to better understand us. And who can be saddened by a Care Bear? No one, that's who.*

But potato bugs....

Listen, I know what it's like to be ugly. This face didn't just happen by accident, you know. It was the result of years and years of training, hard living (I've been known to drink a Barq's Root Beer mixed with Pixie Sticks), and an occasional mallet to the face (my fans love me that much).

But the potato bug has it even worse than me. I mean, a potato bug isn't just ugly, it's probably the world's ugliest insect. Which is kind of like a cruel prank.

God: Bad news, you're a bug.
Potato Bug: You mean, like a butterfly? Or a fluttering rainbow bug**?
God: Well....

Of course, they recently discovered an insect that weighed more than three mice and could eat an entire carrot (no, I'm not joking). So the potato bug maybe has some competition out there in the "world's most ugliest ugly" category. But still.

It makes me wonder why such sad things exist. Like potato bugs. Or the Star Wars prequels (yes, Lucas, I'm talking to you). Was there ever a time when life was pleasant and beautiful? A time when nature was at peace, and people loved one another? A time when Jar-Jar Binks didn't exist?

All of these things are enough to make a person question his/her/its*** faith in the universe.

And yet.

And yet...

For every potato bug, there is a butterfly.

For every Justin Bieber, there is a Dave Matthews Band.

For every Jar-Jar, there is a Boba Fett. Except, now I think of it, Boba Fett mostly turned people into big chocolate bars and then sold them to a guy with serious asthma. So that's a bad example. I should say "For every Jar-Jar, there is a Luke." Except, now I think of it, Luke was kind of a wimpy kid with daddy issues who made out with his sister. Maybe I should just stay away from the Star Wars analogies.

My point (if I have one) is that we enjoy the sunshine much more after we've felt an icy wind. We enjoy the people we love, at least in part, because we know how many people have not loved us, and how lucky we are to have found the "good ones." Spring blooms come, not after the winter, but in large measure because of it.

We all live in this crazy mixed up world. A place where bad things happen.

But when they happen to us, it gives others a chance to exercise their humanity.

When they happen to others, it gives us a chance to shine.

And no butterfly would seem so bright if we didn't have an occasional potato bug around to show us what might have been.



* Except, perhaps, Professor Coldheart. And I don't think he reads this blog.
** Yes, I know there's no such thing as a fluttering rainbow bug. I'm writing the dialogue for God here, so deal with it.
*** Is Jar-Jar a he or a she? The world may never know. And who would want to?




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About the author

Michaelbrent is a bestselling author and produced screenwriter. He also blogs. And sometimes makes amusing-shaped pudding pops. Now until the end of the year, all his books are on sale for 99 cents on Kindle, so check 'em out here!

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